Most days, I am truly grateful that I am single. I think about HC and how much it must suck to be his wife. I think about the men I have been involved with in the past and how miserable I would be now if I was still with any of them. Today is a different story.
A couple of weeks ago, I found a great new apartment (yay!) and I need to be out of this place by the end of the month. I’m starting to pack today and I am getting nothing done. I’m so overwhelmed by all my stuff and have no idea what to do with everything. To top it off, I have no one to help me. Most of my female friends are married with kids or just too busy to help me. I am really feeling sorry for myself. I wish I had a partner to help me sort things out or at least someone male to help with the heavy lifting. I even texted a couple of guys from my past (nice ones, yes, there were a few; who won’t expect a blow job in exchange for helping me out). No one has responded. I thought about posting something like, “Can anyone help me move?” on my Facebook wall, but how depressing will that be sitting on my wall with zero comments?
I really wish I had a boyfriend right now. It’s not just that I’m overwhelmed, I’m also seriously lonely.
But the thing is, even though my addict brain is telling me I can’t do this on my own, I know I can. Yes, it sucks. But it’s not impossible. And it’s not like if HC or someone else like him were in my life, he’d be helping me move.
I’m not the only person in the world who has to move on their own. People do it all the time. In fact, I’ve even done it before. So why am I writing this whiny post? I don’t know, but I’m sure procrastination has a little something to do with it.