Old Eggs

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I had dinner last night with a couple of old friends. One friend, Polly, was all abuzz with news of her new beau. Seems Polly and her fella are on the fast track, full steam ahead to Marriage City. He hasn’t formally proposed yet, but they are living together and already shopping for wedding venues. She told us to expect an announcement soon and to keep October open. Polly’s relationship with her guy is younger than my blog, btw. When asked why the hurry, Polly pointed to her lower abdomen and said, “because these puppies aren’t getting any younger. I need to be pregnant by this time next year.” Ohh! So that’s why… Matzel Tov?

So exactly how old are these old friend’s old eggs? Less than six months older than my old eggs, as a mater of fact. Thanks for reminding me, P! I try not to think about this ticking clock stuff, but maybe she’s got a point. My eggs and I better get a move-on. Haste makes waste! I should be on Match.com right now looking for the first half-way suitable sperm donor I can find, marry him, push out 2.5 kids, then worry about all that other silly compatibility stuff later. Right?

Wait. I would like to be happily married some day with a kid or two, I really would. What are the chances, though, if I went Polly’s route that I would have the happily part? I think about what my Aunt Liz said, that there is no worse loneliness than the loneliness inside of a bad relationship. For the record, I haven’t met Polly’s boyfriend/unofficial fiancé yet. He could be Polly’s perfect life partner, for all I know. When she was talking about him, though, all I heard was, “red flag, red flag, red flag.” I learned a long time ago that having an opinion, particularly when it comes to someone else’s boyfriend/girlfriend, doesn’t mean I need to voice it; so I kept my mouth shut. How often is, “I HATE your new boyfriend!” or “Make sure you get a pre-nup!” ever well received, anyway?

What I’m trying to say here is that I don’t think it’s wise (for me, at least) to force an artificial timeline. I surrender to my higher power. He’s in control of this matter, not me. Someday he’ll probably see fit to lead me toward a healthy partner. Maybe he’ll do this while I’m still young enough to conceive naturally. Maybe not, though. Maybe his plan is for me to adopt, or something else entirely. All I need to worry about right now is getting healthy. The rest will come when it’s time.

Image via Wikimedia Commons.

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6 comments on “Old Eggs

  1. Your eggs still have a few good years left. 😉

  2. lexiconlover says:

    For what it’s worth, my mom had my sister at 44. And my sister is studying right now at Notre Dame, receiving her Master’s Degree. So much for the “if you’re over 40 you automatically have a special needs baby crap.”

    There is much wisdom to the old addage, “Don’t push the river…..it flows on it’s on.”

    If it’s meant to be it’s meant to be.

    I want to validate that I understand that yearning you have. I have yearnings for things too. Different perhaps, none-the-less powerful. To be in a meaningful loving, authentic, relationship. With a caring partner, sharing intimacy, growing together, building a life worth living. I suppose it will happen when it happens, if it’s suppose to happen.

    I get it though.

    Don’t give up on the dream. Just enjoy the present moment, for that’s what we have…that’s what all of us have

    🙂

    • Imperfect says:

      Thanks Lexi. It always makes me feel better to hear stories of women conceiving naturally and with out complications well into their 40s. I’ve never heard that adage before, but it’s wonderful. Thank you.

      You deserve all that you yearn for, Lexi. Some day you will have all those things and more

  3. Opheliac says:

    I’m so glad that you haven’t backslid into a delusional and unhealthy state of mind trying to force things (because we all know how well that goes).

    On a side note, as my friend, i want you to be up front with me if i ever talk about a guy i’m interested in or dating- tell me about the red flags, cause i am oblivious sometimes, so objective opinions are appreciated, and you’re my friend, and i luvers yew, and value your input.

    Dennys- woot woot!

  4. Carrie says:

    Imperfect, I understand the desire for a loving relationship and that ticking in your abdomen; I totally do; but your approach to it is absolutely the healthy way to look at it.

    I don”t know how old you are but my cousin had a perfectly healthy baby in her mid 40’s.

    And you know as well as anyone; you can plan, push, control all you like and it doesn’t make it happen. I wanted nothing more than to have children but was under the gun because I had cancer cells and they were holding off as long as they could for me to have a child and then they did the hysterectomy when Kris was not yet 2. I had given up a child at 16 and always dreamed of having a baby I could mother, a husband, the white picket fence. You know; to wipe away the horrible memories of having to give my child up for adoption. Well I did get pregnant but that is where the dream ended. My husband had a very bad motorcycle accident when kris was 5 weeks old and didn’t get out of the hospital until Kris was two. I felt robbed of my dream, I couldn’t enjoy being a new mother. Then his dad had an affair and we split and I ended up being a single mom anyway.

    What I am trying to say is; it doesn’t matter how badly you want it you aren’t going to get it unless its in the grand plan.

    But you know that! 🙂 I pray your dreams are fulfilled and in the meantime you find joy in every day.

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