20 Things I No Longer Do

1. I don’t call people repeatedly after they have asked me not to.
2. I don’t respond to texts that say, “Have you been a naughty girl? Do you need a spanking from Daddy?” If I do, it’s with a polite, “Sorry, I’m no longer available.”
3. I don’t refuse to leave someone’s place until they call the police.
4. I don’t answer craigslist personal ads just because I like the penis picture the guy has posted. In fact, I don’t answer craigslist ads at all.
5. I don’t date or sleep with married or attached men.
6. I don’t sleep with people out of a sense of obligation.
7. I don’t create fake personas (an 18-year-old high school girl, a young single mother, a bisexual black dominant, an affable male plastic surgeon… to name a few) on dating sites and email accounts in order to talk to someone under false pretenses.
8. I don’t look up sexually explicit craigslist ads at work.
9. I don’t spend ridiculous amounts of money on “psychics” who promise me that they can get me back together with whomever inappropriate guy I’m currently obsessed with.
10. I don’t have sex with people on the first date.
11. I’m not looking to a man to parent, take care of, or recuse me. I’m working on parenting, taking care of, and rescuing myself.
12. When something goes slightly wrong, my first thought isn’t, “I’ll call __________. He’ll make everything better.
13. I don’t exaggerate or completely fabricate stories in order to get attention male attention.
14. I don’t look at dating as a hobby.
15. I don’t continue seeing someone after I’ve caught him in a major lie. Examples of major lies include shaving 10 years off one’s age, giving me a fake name, having a live-in girlfriend and forgetting to mention it, secretly filming me without my consent.
16. I’m no longer attracted to pervs old enough to be my father, who tell me I’m “too old” for them. In general, I’m no longer attracted to men who make me feel bad about myself.
17. I don”t harass men — sending my ex a text from my friend’s phone (a number he wouldn’t recognize) saying “my test came back positive,” for example — just because I think it’s funny. In fact, I no longer harass people for any reason.
18. I don’t have sex outside of committed relationships.
19. I don’t view people as objects, sexual or otherwise… at least I try really hard not to.
20. I no longer measure my worth based on who wants to have sex with me.

7 comments on “20 Things I No Longer Do

  1. M says:

    Great list! I need to do one myself.

  2. Imperfect says:

    Thanks M! I hope someday I can do a “Things I Now Do” list of healthy behaviors.

  3. Friend says:

    Love this!

  4. lexiconlover says:

    Great post. This list eems so far away for me…. I need to start really embracing step 1, keep going to SLAA meetings, get a sponsor.

  5. Opheliac says:

    You should call the list “things i no longer do to entertain the crazy” hee hee
    i hope to see your “Things I Now Do” list of healthy behaviors soon 🙂

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