I haven’t spied on HC in three days. Yay, me! I have, however, been stuffing my face like a pig, drinking like a fish, and masturbating like… well, like some kind of masturbation fiend. I’m sure the comparison has been made before, but my addictive behavior is like a whack-a-mole game. Once I whack down one, another couple pop up. Although, to be fair, I usually eat, drink, and masturbate too much. Also, I have a habit of spending too much, although I’ve kept that one in check for a bit now. So maybe it is possible to whack all those moles down one by one. It’s hard for me to imagine a life where I eat, drink, spend, masturbate, and obsess moderately (is it even possible to obsess moderately?), but anything is possible.

On the topic of masturbation (the most fun topic on the list), I’ve played with the idea of adding it to my bottom-lines. I once heard a woman in a meeting refer to masturbation as “making love to myself,” which made me secretly haha to myself. For me ¬†Christine O’Donnell’s (crazy Tea Partier, “I’m not a witch” lady) euphemism, “self abuse,” is more apt, especially considering the things I have to think of to get myself off. Somehow, nothing has ever turned me on as much as shame and guilt.

For now, though, instead of focusing on everything I’m doing wrong, I think I’ll focus on the things I’m doing right (not spying on HC, for instance), and practicing my top-ine behaviors.


One comment on “Progress?

  1. H.H. says:

    What sort of things do you have to imagine to get yourself off?

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